You know how to tell if you’re dating someone crazy? Okay, check this one out…
I like to consider myself a good dude. I have a big heart, and that could be considered a weakness. I’ve got my flaws, but who doesn’t? About a week or so into my last relationship, I knew that my ex was a head case… but I stayed with her and tried to help her through it. After all, that’s what you do if you care for someone, right? Well, the thing I learned is, and this is a huge lesson; people have to want to get better. They have to take initiative and take whatever steps they need to take in order to get help and eventually get better. As much as you want to help, there’s only so much you can do before it’s out of your hands. That’s the mistake I made.
When I broke up with my ex, for lying for the 100th time (give or take… seriously), she told me she had checked herself into a mental health facility. Considering the fact that her lying was only a minuscule issue to the big picture that I call her “problems”, I thought this was great. Finally, she was getting real professional help for herself. Apparently her logic was “if I get help, maybe he’ll want to be with me again in the future”; it wasn’t “shit, I need help”, and that’s a problem. She explained that it was a program that could last anywhere up to 30 days, depending on her progress. She went into great detail; telling me her whole schedule at this facility. She even went as far as to make a private blog that only myself and she could read. In this blog she went into detail about her progress and everything she had been doing at the facility. She wrote about how hard it was to let everything out, but at the same time how good it felt to do so. Her “free time” allowed her to write in this private blog. Her “free time” also consisted of her non-stop begging for me back… making promises we both knew she couldn’t keep.
After about the third day, I started to think that she could very well be making everything up. There’s no proof that she’s actually there. Could she be that crazy to go this far? Well, at this point she hadn’t had the best track record… so I started questioning her about it. I asked for her mom’s phone number (keep in mind that after dating her for several months, I never once met her mom) so that I could talk to her about it. She didn’t want me having her moms number. I started questioning her “best friends” (who actually lie for her). I wasn’t getting anywhere, so I went to other motives. I called her out on it; told her that I knew for a fact that she wasn’t really at this facility. After a while she finally admitted that she had just made everything up. Yes, apparently she is that crazy.
This story still just blows my mind. When someone knows they need help, which she clearly does know, it’s selfish to not get help. You hurt others around you. You hurt the people that care for you most.
Give up… please? Pretty please? No seriously, do I need to get my phone number changed? It’s getting a little ridiculous (to say the least). Tell me, my lovely followers, how many times do I have to ignore someone’s phone call before they get the hint? To tell you the truth, It’s getting a little creepy now… started to get a bit creepy as I ignored the 20th call of the night (in a row).
Right now I’m not in the mood to write a (long) blog about all the psychotic things that took place in my previous relationship that brought us here, to this point, tonight. However, I promise the story will be told (mainly for the sake of every guy that thinks it’s a good idea to start talking to her). Is that a bit immature? Yeah, probably… but it’s just too good of an experience to not write about it. I’m all about living and learning (and writing about it, of course). I will say this right now… one of us belongs in a straight jacket (and it’s not me). Wait a minute, darling, didn’t you check yourself into a mental health facility to get yourself help? Oh, that’s right… you lied about that too.
I used to feel bad, tried helping on several occasions… but like they say, people don’t change. I’ve learned they just show their true colors more and more as they grow…
When I was younger, my (Scottish) uncle, Duncan, gave me some words of wisdom. It went a little something like this:
“Ryan, Scottish people cannot get STD’s”.
The thought of hooking up with someone else, quickly after breaking up with someone, seems so “unappetizing” to me. Here’s the way I look at it… after getting out of a relationship, you’re full. The thought of one more bite of food makes you sick to your stomach. You’re not going eat again until you’re hungry, are you? You have to let that hunger build and eventually you will be anxious to eat again. You wouldn’t want to throw up after eating other/more food. You surely don’t want a case of food poisoning… or Herpes, for that matter.
I’ve learned it’s different for others though; some can hook up with others immediately and be just fine. Those are the people that I will consider the “I always save room for dessert” people.
Nothing against the people that do always save room for dessert, of course…
I’ve been on both sides of the fence when it comes to breaking up; I’ve done the heart breaking and I’ve had my heart broken… countless times. Breaking up is never an easy thing to do, whether it’s your idea to end things or not. I recently broke up with my girlfriend Christina, who I’ve been dating since June (roughly).
Being with someone for a few months is not a long time. However a few months is enough time to create a routine of some sort. Some don’t like to claim that they have a “routine” with their girlfriend/boyfriend, but let’s be real here… we get into this comfort zone that I consider a routine.
For example, a quick routine that I seem find myself in while in a relationship: Whoever wakes up first will send a (cliche) “good morning” text. During the course of the day you ask how each others day is going (their issues become your issues and vice versa). Whoever is going to sleep first will send a (cliche) “good night” text.
Bam, you have a routine.
Obviously if you see your boyfriend/girlfriend that particular day it will be different, you’ll do the “in person” routine; whether it involves having sex, watching a movie, etc.
Here comes the point… you break up and suddenly that routine is no longer; just like that. You get this really uncomfortable feeling (even if you’re the one who did the breaking up). You almost don’t know what to do with yourself… so you surround yourself with friends to ease the loneliness.
The thing is, you obviously do know how to live without them. After all, there are days spent without them where you’re just fine. It’s the routine that’s missing… knowing someone is there.
Breaking up is really tough until you create a new routine… it’s like quitting smoking (which I’ve yet to do). I’m in the in between stage right now. I haven’t started my new routine, but I’m working on it. I’m currently writing this alone; without any friends around, which means I’m starting to not feel so lonely when I’m not surrounded by friends. Forward progress…
I originally created a private blog to post this in, but honestly, what do I have to hide? Fuck it, get in my business.